Rainy Days

When it comes, it comes. Grounds momentarily stained. Others washed away. Some hurry under cover. Afraid. Others find themselves, out. Embraced. Drops fall ahead. The rain comes. It pours. Down on. Like wet flames. Engulfed.

Downpour against the grain. Tiny nudges to be fresh. For freedom. To wipe away. Washed out. Regret weighs down. Ankles pulled deeper. Present drowning from past indiscretion. Soaked like a sponge. Falling like a rock. Anchored to cease. Chained to drench. Sea of tears.

Caressed by velvet. Thick as chocolate. Smooth sailing. Straight down. Into the deep end. Exploring darker waters. Truth burns like acid. Swimming through contamination. Where is the flow of information? Desperate navigation. Dancing into the night. On waters’ edge. Cliffs leveled to pools. Puddles are vast.

Hearts still beat. Surrounded by purity. Innocence is not all lost. Character unwashed. Only cleansed. Chiseled from stone. Permanent in standing. Through higher tides. Fighting against force. A force of its own. Entity. Not a man-made lake. A canal by chance. Waterways. No blueprints. Natural mapping. Internal workings. A system all its own. Pipeline.

Plumber by trade. Self-maintained. Evolving. Often reused. No wasted drops. Preservation. Buckets to catch leaks. Dripping home. Dry and wet. Inside out. Drains to dilute. Filtration from the beginning. This glass is half full. Its raining. Carry an umbrella.

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Protagonist

Again, and again. Second to my own story. Last in any race. First to give up. The towel is on standby. Ready to throw in. Unwritten outcomes already assumed. Preemptive appeasement. Precautionary tales.

Last notes folded in a pocket. Paper weighs. Paper weights. Paper rocks. Canvas to unfinished thoughts. Fallen overboard and drifting. Soon sinking. Eventually lost. No search and rescue. No attempt. Fatal. Fateful. Fallen.

Diagrams erased. Chalk boards smeared. Answers far from attainment. No easy way around it. No direct path. Unsolved equations. Too many variables. Change is constant. Afternoon stumbles out. Drunk from before. Nothing left to drink.

Thirst goes unquenched. Wishful thinking takes flight. Composition flies overhead. Understanding straight over the head. Above the pay grade. Belittled by lesser. No sleep on the weekend. The day never ends. Riding with no exit. Unbuckled. Splashed by the oncoming. No sound.

Throat tightened up. Insides twisted over. Like a garden hose. Congested. Impeding. Traffic. No panic on the phone. Called all the same. Time for a game. Swim or drown. Bottoms are closer than expected. Circumstance is the same. No blame. Pawns are uncontrolled.

Batteries run out. No juice in the fridge. Empty. Free refills. Keep it all. The pot grows. More eyes look. Snatches go unseen. Juries make justice. Fitting punishment. The rest are protected. Degrees of severity. Measuring devices. Quick analysis. Founded conclusions. Fact or fiction. A piece of paper. Again, and again with my name on it.

Awake (Poem)

Awake

He sat awake in bed unable to find sleep
Eyes would shut to rest and awake wide-open
Mouth remained closed with tightly clinched teeth
Breathing paced slow and steady and quiet
Heartbeat echoed through the pitch dark room
He simply could not fall asleep

On this night he dreamt awake
He saw his decisions and the what-ifs
They were mapped out before him
The regret of doing and not doing
The burden or privilege of having choice
He wondered and wondered what-if

The picture reel looped infinitely
No clicks came from typing keys
A flameless light lit nothing
Time was digital but frozen still
Water dripped without a sound
He slept awake

Laundry on tumble, dishes on rinse
The cycles continue
Lights off when the sun shines through
Feet up at the end of a long day
Night is dark with no length
Dreams from the day intertwine

Departures take flight as he touches down
Body, mind and spirit as a whole
Calm in synch, in control
Bridges to connect here to there
More roads to navigate through
Blank signs pointing at him

Farther and further along
Origins are previous destinations
Gas tank half full or half empty
But he was walking
Up mountains, down valleys
Into caverns, out of forests

Pages wrote with inkless pen
He told himself a different story every time
Power in knowing
Fear in not
Vacant and occupied
Standards by his own discretion

Wild fires lay under
Heavy clouds from above
He remained in the middle
Between awake and asleep
Nowhere to be found
A dual citizen

No drowning in his sleep
Even though he doesn’t know how to swim
No falling off the bed tonight
Even though he teeters on the edge
No waking up in cold sweats
Because emotions are in check (the lie)

Covers drape with the wind
Then they tighten like a straight-jacket
Comfort for the moment only
Uneasy in his own skin
Misplaced oneself
An outcast

One sock on, one sock off
Toss and turn
His door is shut from the world
While a window is ajar
The sheep don’t want to be counted
They know this is not their place

Midnight snacks are plentiful
Food for thought
Replenish
His appetite is endless
Delicate wishful thinking is devoured
He suffers from malnutrition

Walls surround and rotate
Shadow puppets dance around
Friends and foes meet in the corners
Room only for that which matters
But his baggage is close behind
It follows him in

He races to an unknown finish
Each time is different
On the same track
His paradigm
The middle is an adventure
The beginning is never seen again

One capsule by mouth one time daily
Heal the wounds
Time to move on
The cat prowls with keen eyes
It forgives favourably but never forgets
Simple minds layered

Now he has the spins
An empty grave for him to fall in
A pair of shoes in just his size
Chaos gives him no rest
He simply could not fall asleep
On this night he dreamt awake

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